The bubble part two - a rant

Sun, 4 Jul 2010 13:45:18 +1000

So, our scheduled flight left more than ten minutes late on Friday... Why?

The hosties spent this time trying to fit all the carry on luggage into the overhead lockers. I have a revolutionary idea... why not simply apply the existing carry on luggage rules to passengers as they get on? I have seen people carrying all sorts of ridiculous items and get away with it. All in the name of saving literally an average of 5 - 10 minutes waiting time for the luggage to turn up on the carousel.

Have you seen anyone ever have their carryon questioned by the hostie? what a joke...

What else? I felt sorry for the older bloke two seats across from me. The seat belt sign goes off and plonk! - the guy in front of him decides that he desperately needs to have a snooze on what is effectively a 50 minute flight (the time from seat belts off to seat belts back on for decent). This should be punishable by terminal wedgie. Ok, maybe it is fine to push back your seat a little to relieve the angle, but this guy just went the whole shebang.

When someone does this in economy, you are basically hemmed in like a tetris brick. You can’t do anything useful with your tray table etc.

If I was king for a day, I would remove the seat angle button on all planes that fly domestic...

I did get a surprise though. For once, a hostie who was serving the snacks did the unthinkable :
“Sir, can you please raise your seat back so the gentleman behind you can enjoy his snack?” and she proceed to push the button and move the seat back. She also should have slapped the guy at the same time...

She was my hero for the day...

My current airline of choice has also implemented a wonderful new save mother earth policy. You now get a paper baggie thing to put all your “non-recyclables” in. You give this to the hosties separately to the cups and cans that are recyclable.

Assuming my rubbish from a flight is going to be
1. Can of Diet Coke
2. Plastic Cup for Diet Coke
3. Napkin
4. Wrapper for cookie

Doesn’t the addition of the baggie thing merely increase the amount of landfill? Wouldn’t it be more environmentally friendly for the hosties to just put the recyclables in one bin and the other stuff in a second? Separating the four items above doesn’t seem too hard...

The bubble

Sat, 3 Jul 2010 12:03:31 +1000

I have been travelling a fair bit over the last couple of weeks... and have had workmates on the trips with me.

Do crazy people see a nutjob when they look in the mirror in the morning whilst brushing their teeth? (cleanish crazy people, anyway). Do crazy people notice people backing away from them when they cackle to themselves, walking down the street?

My team at NFL have started to look at me as if I am holding a bunch of stray cats and asking them for a dollar? Let me explain...

I don’t really like travelling because it inevitably means two things
1. People are going to be entering my personal space
2. Uncertainty and stress

I like to travel in a “bubble” as the Saints so aptly put it. I try to control whatever is in my sphere of influence, and pre-empt performance gaps and anxiety.

Here is my flight routine.
1. Get to the airport an hour before flight
2. Check in overnight bag - I hate schlepping a bag around the airport all to save 5 minutes waiting at the baggage carousel
3. Get a window seat to minimise chance of interaction with other passengers
4. Get on plane in the first few people so I don’t have to fight for overhead space
5. Take mini pillow and place between head and seat / window (think of all the mankyness of thousands of other hobo travellers drooling on the wall in a state of semi conscious sleep... (I always have the pillow turned the same way so my head only comes into contact with a clean side of the pillow)
6. Take out ear plugs and put them in. This reduces
• general noise
• chance of hearing somebody’s baby / kid whining in the next row
• chance of hearing some lame-o conversation that will make me angry
• likelihood of person sitting next to me trying to start up a conversation
1. Enoy the flight in my silent, tranquil bubble

At the other end, I usually rent a car. Why?
1. Taxis never come when you are in a hurry
2. Taxis usually smell like hobo underpants
3. Taxis (especially in sydney) are in danger of spontaneously exploding due to poor roadworthiness.

I had a taxi pull up at Sydney Airport (one of the minivan ones) and the driver opened the door. The rear seat was not actually fixed to the floor and it nearly fell out. I quote “it’ll be right mate, just give me a minute.” I proceeded to politely ask him if he was joking and moved on to the next cab in the line. The Taxi Cop at the airport told me to go back to the car and I politely again pointed out the death trap. I was graciously allowed to select another cab.

Rental cars are usually more road worthy than a taxi... and I still have to live long enough to see the Saints win a flag. If they win it this year, I shall proceed to catch taxis once again.

Needless to say, my flight routine was met with some mirth from my team, who slowly backed away from me as I put my earplugs in.

I was driving a couple of them to our hotel in sydney. We pulled up after navigating the “could they make it any harder?” one way Sydney CBD streets. I walked up the stairs at the front of the hotel and tossed some pimply kid in a suit my keys.

“Sorry sir, we do not offer valet parking”
“You’re kidding????”
“No, I am sorry sir we do not valet park”
“So I have to park my own car?”
“Yes Sir”
“Will I also have to clean the toilet in my room before I take a dump” (This line added for comedy value and is not an accurate reflection of my conversation - I wish I had’ve said it though!)
My next real line “OK mate, you realise that I will NEVER stay here again if you do not offer valet parking. Never.”
“Yes Sir”
“OK, where is the carpark?”

I almost drove to the nearest hotel with valet parking, but we had a specific reason to stay at the hotel as a team...

As I suspected, finding the car park, and parking there was a complete nightmare.

When I got up to my room, despite asking for a quiet room, I was opposite the elevator doors. And the elevators there were straight out of 1800’s. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were a bunch of guys down in the basement pulling ropes like hamsters on a wheel to raise and lower the elevators... So back down to reception to request another room. There is no point to not being assertive when you travel.

The bubble doesn’t stop there. I have favourite hotels which I try and stay at. They must have
1. great bed
2. great pillow options
3. good iron and ironing board
4. good food
5. a nice desk or table to work on with my laptop
6. VALET PARKING!!!!!

If the hotel fails at one of these, I never stay there again.

In Sydney I can recommend
- Crowne Plaza Sydney
- Rydges World Square Sydney
- Pullman Olympic Park

If you wish to understand me better, read “Accidental Tourist”.

NOstradamo

Sat, 26 Jun 2010 16:18:05 +1000

You read it here first - taken from my blog 29th April 2010 :

“The Prediction...

Kevin Rudd may not make it to the next election as PM. Labour must realise that he is a sitting duck at the next election. The Liberal Party will be able to play the classic opposition role of poking holes rather than having to propose policy.
ETS backdown
BER cost overruns
Insulation scandal
NBN proposal
His obvious communication disability (Kev is rather hard to understand at times...)
A massive line of ex-staffers waiting to pot him in the media when it will really hurt

If he does make it to the election, and wins, I would bet the house he will be gone within three months of the election result....

The ranga will be the next PM. She is the kind of Labour PM that swinging conservative voters can like...”

Click here for the link if you don’t believe me!

Kevin Rudd must be the worst prime minister ever. Even though my voting preferences are not exactly hard to deduce, I never felt that Paul Keating and Bob Hawke were bad prime ministers the same way I believe Kevin Rudd to be complete failure. A man who appeared to run his policy based on polls and popularity rather than a belief.

Is the ETS and climate change “the great moral and economic issue of our times” or not, Kevin? As soon as the tide changed on public opinion and the world’s interest in change, he dropped the whole issue virtually overnight... A classic example of his tragic character flaw. Did you see John Howard give up on Gun Control, despite the heat from interest groups, or not implement the GST despite the voices against it? Howard believed in what he was doing and stayed the course. For the record and in the interests of even handed commentary, Bob Hawke did the same - floating the dollar, selling off the Commonwealth Bank, and dismantling a lot of the tariff system. Things he believed in...

Rudd was trying to manage his role as Prime Minister like a brand, except nobody told him great brands don’t feel the need to check in with the public and change course every couple of days. Brands like Apple, Harley Davidson, and Coke don’t ask the public to like them, pretty please... They tell the public what they stand for and if you like it, come along for the ride, but if you don’t, we don’t care! Kevin Rudd was like a needy friend, always asking “what do you think? should we go here? do you like my new car, do ya, do ya?”.

I expect my prime minister to stand for something and lead, not constantly beg for permission. I never understood the attraction of the australian people to a man who was a bully, weak minded, and two faced. At the election he painted himself as a fiscally conservative, almost liberal leader to the public, and proceeded to spend public money like a drunk in a bar. Billions on dodgy batts, billions on portable classrooms that schools didn’t want or need, and a rotten plan to nationalise telecommunications again in stealth mode via the NBN initiative.

By the way, if a new national broadband network is a great idea, private enterprise will do it and it won’t cost the taxpayer a cent - and taxpayers can make up their own minds if it is worth paying for once it is installed. If it is a crap idea, it will need sponsorship from the government. Which one do you think it is??? Why not spend that 40 billion on buying back the bloody toll roads from private enterprise? If my taxes are not there to spent on roads and other similar infrastructure, I am not sure what it is for?

Welcome to the family eliza

Sat, 26 Jun 2010 16:06:45 +1000

It was Adam and Patricia’s turn this week to add the world’s population. Little Eliza was born on Monday. We visited their Ringwood mansion today, and got to meet her for the first time. It was pretty much a standard visit.

Sonia knitted baby blanket - Check
Damian worried about dropping baby - Check
Damian bribing Vincent to wear St Kilda jumper with lollies - Check
Vincent doing copious “arm farts” and Damian laughing every time - Check
Mary pulling Damian’s finger for a surprise - Check
Damian and Sonia happy to hand back children after about 60 minutes - Check

Eliza is a beautiful little girl, and we are very happy to have another Young in the family.

Sonia knitted a freaky blanket for Eliza - it is like one of those hypno wheel things.

Click here to see the pics

The whelan boys

Wed, 16 Jun 2010 15:53:14 +1000

If there is one thing I do know about Brent Whelan, he is definitely fertile...

Say hello to James, the newest addition to the Whelan clan.

Sonia and I were luck enough to get to visit a couple of weeks ago.

Nick is becoming more and more like his dad - a show off. He loved posing for photos!

Click here to see Father of the Year, Nick, and Baby James.

Flickrmeet

Mon, 14 Jun 2010 16:01:29 +1000

Had the regular flickrmeet a few weeks ago, at the Marquis of Lorne. We always head up to the top room, up three flights of narrow, rickety stairs. It is like that TV show Wipeout negotiating them after a couple of pints, but we all managed to avoid breaking our necks in a tumble.

Click here to see the regular bunch of pictures.

Finally a 21st and not a wedding / 40th etc

Mon, 14 Jun 2010 15:38:04 +1000

At last. A 21st for a person whom
1. I am not related to
2. Is not someone’s younger brother / sister
3. An employee

I finally got to go to a 21st for a FRIEND....

Amazing but true, I got to hang with the kids for a night. Granted, I was assigned “toolie” status, but I lived the dream of my youth once more. But just like Cinderalla, the night had to end and I woke up an old creaky 40 year old again...

Click here to see all the awesome pics.

Visit to see sienna and lily

Sat, 12 Jun 2010 13:54:53 +1000

Sonia and ventured out to Watsonia to see our nieces, Lily and Sienna.

Click here to see how the girls are rapidly growing up!

What I did on my day off

Sun, 30 May 2010 14:47:14 +1000

When you start hoping a headache turns into the flu so you can have a day off, you know it might be time to use some of that leave you have been banking up... So I took Friday off work, for a long weekend.

I was still torn a bit, as Friday was going to be the big reveal of our “man platters” at work - cheese entertaining platters that you can serve on grand final day to your husband’s mates. Oh well, I will find out soon enough... I am sure Mel and Naomi have done a great job developing them!

Driving down to our facotry in Allansford a couple of weeks ago, I had to select the “ok to use unmade roads” option on the GPS because the plant is on a private road or something similar that the GPS doesn’t like. Nasty, precious woman that she is...

All main roads on the way down. But on the way back, I was in back country before I even realised it. It took me down some literal dirt roads! It did actually work out to be slightly quicker, and was verified as such by Katrina’s dad who makes the trip from Warrnambool to Melbourne regularly. There are a number of B-Double drivers who believe that barrelling down a single lane partially sealed rd at 120kmh is a great idea. It gets them to melbourne about 10 minutes earlier, after all...

In between dodging the trucks in what started to feel like a scene in Mad Max 2, I noticed the road bisected a dried up lake. Lake Corangamite is completely empty.

So, I marked the location on the GPS - and went back there on Friday.

Click here to see the pics.

Here is the location for the more adventurous souls and “over the shoulder” photographers out there...

Rückenfigur and how to take street shots

Sat, 29 May 2010 12:10:26 +1000

One of the most popular photo styles for street photography is called “Rückenfigur”.

A definition from the Flickr Group “Literally meaning "back figure", the term rückenfigur is usually associated with German romantic painters, such as Caspar David Friedrich, to describe a viewpoint that includes another person seen from behind, viewing a scene spread out before the viewer.”

You can check out the more advanced exponents of this craft at the Flickr Group by clicking here.

A photography mate of mine is one of the absolute rock stars of this style, Memetic. You should also check his stream out by clicking here.

So, I had a crack at some Rückenfigur action last weekend. I was OK with the results as a first go. Click here to see the results.

Taking street photos is a constant balancing act between
- trying to look like a tourist
- angling for the shot you want
- avoiding attracting attention from people who have watched too much Underbelly
- sidestepping beggars and bums (Melbourne seems to have been inundated with them over the last few years. How many people can lose their train fare back to some rural town where there kid is dying of cancer?)
- navigating through the drunk 19 year olds wearing Ed Hardy t-shirts on their big nite out
- GenYers who think you want a photo of them because they are so hip right now

Everyone knows that every picture taken anytime can end up anywhere. People are suspicious of others with cameras... “Why did you take my picture?” is a common complaint if you are not careful. Anyone with a camera who is not a tourist must be a pedophile or pervert of some kind...

So, how can you take street shots without being hassled?
1. go for Rückenfigur shots and no-one will wise up
2. go with a couple of photographers. for some reason this makes people think you are more legit
3. go to places that are frequented by tourists and try to blend in
4. go to places with LOTS of people. no body is really sure if you photographed them or not
5. be quick
6. aim at something else, but then turn to your subject in a smooth motion, take the shot and move on.
7. longer lenses give you more distance and therefore freedom to point and shoot